Thursday, September 20, 2012

We Are Alive. Weird Old Man In Waiting Room.


We're still here.

Here we are in the Bahamas or "Aye, Aye Bahamas!" as Emerson called it back in 2008. The beach is our shared happy and relaxing place. How hilarious or odd would it be if I had beach posters all around Brad's bed right now?

Brad's surgery went well. His left hip needed less work than his right did last year. It should be fine for the rest of his life, or as I say "Honey! This new improved hip is going to take you through to death! yayy!" because who wants more surgeries?

He was in rare form before and after surgery due to meds-- and the fact that he's a nurse, so prior to surgery and sedated, everytime a message was overhead, he'd kind of come to and think he was at work. Then I'd have to remind him "It's not for you, honey. Relax."  He did start yelling funny things VERY loudly in an almost Will Ferrell voice "WHAT is going ON HERE?" and threw his oxygen mask off three times. Good stuff, Maynard!

The most fun: The waiting. It's hard to wait. I was nervous. Edgy. And I've done this before.."This is not my first barbecue.." I went from being hyperawake to feeling like I was going to pass out from being tired. I was the lucky (read: sarcasm) girl who got to sit next to an older gentleman in the waiting area. I could tell he wanted to chat and I didn't want to, so I did my best to hold him off for a good hour. I texted friends. I read books. I read "Real Simple" magazine. In a moment of what could only be called..weakness..(?) I looked up to see him staring at me and it happened: "hey! You're going to be here for a LONG time!"  Me: "Yep, we were here last year for a good 11 hours. My husband is having the same surgery on the opposite hip." then he moves closer to my chair (Dammit NO!) and proceeds to tell me all about his wife, her various surgeries, his variety pack of past surgeries. How "Forty seven years of marriage becomes REAL DULL let me tell ya!" after asking if I'm married and for how long. What do you even say to that? "Thank you, sir." or "Well..kudos to you for sticking around and waiting this surgery of your wife's out!" It was just..bizarre.  Then he wouldn't stop talking. And I realized he's a lot like Brad's stepdad: Doesn't want to hear anything, just wants to talk at you. So I felt okay with possibly nodding off to sleep while he spoke. My new thing in life is "My safety first, your feelings second" and while I clearly wasn't in harm's way, it's safe to say that perhaps psychologically I was.

Cue mystical music....ahh..ahhh...ahhhhh! Just as I was about to fake sleep, my name was called to see Brad in recovery. I don't think I've ever jumped up from a seat so fast!  Aside from nodding off, I wasn't sure how I was going to escape the man I'll forever refer to as "Ronimal"!  Okay, that made me laugh. And you know what? Sometimes that's enough. What do you do? Just walk away? Or say "Hey..I'm headed over here...just away a bit?" or "Oh my heavens! Is that a rerun of Oprah over there? See ya!" or an honest "Sir, you're wearing me out and I have a long night ahead of me. Focker OUT."?? It's a gray area. I want to be polite, but I feel like that behavior in and of itself is rude. Take the temp of your audience, Ronimal!  I must also point out that he told me that I was real pretty like his most recent nurse which added to the discomfort a bit.

So..we're alive and home. I'm thankful Brad is okay. He's in a lot of pain, is on a lot of meds that have to be given every four hours. Needless to say, I'm sleep deprived. He screams out "Help!" in his sleep and I run...only to realize he's having night terrors due to morphine. Recovery will be long again. We do physical therapy at home twice day and it makes me feel tired, weak and lame. I'm kind, but I think I'd make a poor nurse. But we're doing it.

We did watch the first two episodes of "Newsroom" with Jeff Daniels last night. Amazeballs! As soon as Brad is awake more, we're headed off to begin Dexter! Thanks to my pal  Shannan at Flowerpatch Farmgirl for the recommendation! A serial killer with a heart!

Hope all is well. It's windy here and the trashcans and recycling were knocked over twice today. I eventually yelled "F**king trashcans! Where is that damned recycling truck???" and realized "Wow, I'm kinda cranky."

Good times, people.

Have a splendid evening! I have plans to peruse my new Oprah, Better Homes & Gardens AND eat a bag o f Reeses!

YEE and HAW!




Nicole said...

Glad Brad is home and the healing can begin. I think I sat next to that old man....anywhere there's waiting! Subway is the worst...I'm a magnet!

Enjoy the Reese's, and try to get some sleep :) said...


LOL. I feel as if I sit next to that old man in many, many different places. I've got to figure out a better way!

I've enjoyed Twix candybars, Reeses, Weight Watchers Ice cream bars (I know, the irony! But they taste good!) and am off to drink most likely a jug o' wine!


Nicole said...

Beautiful irony! It's like when I eat a huge serving of handcut fries and order a diet that matters after a mountain of fries!

And there's usually an old man creeping me out at the next table....

Anonymous said...

I don't remember ever seeing this teeny, tiny, picture of you and Brad - but it looks fantastic! I want a big version - you look all "handsy" and filled with "luuuuuuuv" in this.

You KNOW the reason the old guy talked at you - it's your Christina Applegatedness, and you generally look all friendly to random strangers when we're out. Open, as if you WANT an in depth conversation about Compound W wart remover.

Bottom line: you're just too pretty and interesting to leave be. Strangers, old people, babies, woodland creatures, and me, all want to be ON you.

Great update to all your readers - I'm sure everybody wants to know how you is!

your cousin/bff/Kim said...


LOL on the handcut fries and diet soda! It's also like getting a huge popcorn at a movie, sour patch kids, a life sized candy bar and then "diet coke, please. MUST be diet!" I used to work at the candy counter at a movie theater and that happened many, many times. "Does the diet soda even matter now sir? Really? Let's go for diabetic shock here and do a regular soda!" are truly hilarious and delirious, but that's the love speaking! That old man wanted to talk to ANYONE who would listen. He had made friends with another person who was wheeling out a friend post surgery as I was returning from grabbing coffee. He spoke to her like they were old friends. I'd been gone for an hour, so he must have talked her ear off for that whole 60 minutes! I just don't get people who want no breather in between chatting up strangers.

I can only say "Que Seso HUH?"

Tina@WhatWeKeep said...

Hey- how are you holding up? Have you killed him yet or is he getting better? Been thinking about you!