Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Jamaican Me Crazy!

So original, no?

We are about to have another blast of arctic hellish air here, so I thought I'd delve into my "head movies" so as to keep myself from getting depressed.

I give you..Jamaica vacation! 2011! You may recall my Jamaica pics a few posts back. We stayed at a beautiful resort in 2010. In 2011 we had less $$ to spare and found a great deal on 7 Mile Beach. Was it fun? Yes. Was it scary? Yes. We definitely got a taste of the local culture and while it was a fun vacation, it wasn't terribly relaxing.

It was gorgeous!! I'm always amazed how flowers bloom and plants thrive in February in other parts of the world!

Sweaty but beautiful dinner on 7 Mile Beach in the evening. It was HOT even at 10pm! LOVE!

The beach itself is beautiful, but a sort of show that I didn't much enjoy. People walking aimlessly up and down the beach to be seen (tourists).  Locals selling food and drinks. Loved that part. There was literally no hunting for food. If you had cash and sat on a beach chair, eventually someone would come up and sell you something. The food was delicious. The best food on the beach was from a guy with a bike and a cardboard box on the back of his bike. He ran out of food fast and that part of the vacation was great. What I also loved: Locals would take the large alcohol bottles from various bars on the beach (cleaned out, I presume. I never got sick, so it was all good.) and make HUGE/YUGE bottles of orange juice to sell you. $5! It tasted like Tang but it was hot and I didn't care. Plus, I felt good about and was happy to give money to the locals and the local economy. Too many times we've traveled thinking our money stays local when in reality it's all offshore. So that part was very cool.

Not sure why I look like a total drunk at 2pm here, but I was NOT drunk. I titled this photo "Bar Hag." I loved all of the outdoor areas to have drinks and to EAT. Did I eat CAKE? I believe I did! Vacations are not the time to try and resist foods! What you don't see in this photo: Men constantly trying to sell us drugs. It was funny at first and then annoying. Unfortunately Brad had a doppelganger on this vacation! Another white bald man! He was terribly rude and wore a lame necklace. Why do I bring up the necklace? Because one day as we're lying on the beach, this local comes over to Brad and offers him various drugs. Brad "No thanks, man." The guy gets increasingly upset and says "Why are you pretending like you don't know me? You know me!" and then I point to other bald white guy and say "I think you have him confused with THAT guy over there! See? He's got the necklace!" and all was well with the world. We then knew who was buying large amounts of cocaine on the beach! Good times!

This is where we had breakfast some days. Bliss.

We also saw the same tourists from our hotel here everyday. One woman was quite old and refused to wear a top ever. Topless beach! I could never quite figure out what was going on with her. Whenever I'd swim, the water would take me to wherever she and her latest Jamaican boy toy were making out. NO LIE. It was very uncomfortable. I'd be treading water, relaxing and suddenly I'd be 2 feet away. I think I may have yelled "Ahhh..F&&K!" one day because I just got tired of it. We lovingly nicknamed her "Milkshake" after the song "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.." and I told Brad "I wish I could put a shirt on her! Her boobs are burned!" I must say that when I stopped seeing her (she must have left to return home.) that I kind of missed her and realized our vacation was also coming to a close.

That water is amazing. So imagine swimming..relaxing and suddenly smelling gasoline and hearing a jet ski behind you and a guy saying "Hey! Hey you!" Me: "Me??" "Yes! You need anything!" and what he was referring to again- drugs! It just never ended. EVEN IN THE WATER!  There was just no escape from the madness. It IS supremely beautiful there. I will say that.

We had dinner here one night. It was lovely.

The simple architecture makes me happy.

Beautiful sunset! I had too much to drink this evening and spent the night throwing up. TMI? Sorry. Let's just look back at the sunset!

My sweet Brad. I love him. Good. Kind. Sweet. Funny.

My friend Melissa always makes fun of me for taking pics of where I eat. I love food. I have no shame!

Ahhh...I feel better now! We stayed at the White Sands on 7 Mile Beach. It's cheap, it was clean. It's fine..just don't leave your wits and common sense at home! We were witness to a machete fight just down the beach at a local market. I was just trying to buy gifts for our nieces and nephews and was suddenly smack dab in the middle of what felt like a NatGeo program!  I distinctly heard a voice in my head tell me "Back UP. Back up toward the beach." I think it was God. Seriously. It was creepy yet I felt calm. But again..scary and a BIT unsafe.

Well..thanks for taking a stroll down vacation memory lane with me.

Here's hoping your Wednesday is beautiful!




Grace said...

Wow, I would NOT like being offered drugs and seeing topless old women at the beach. I think I'd end up attacking someone. But it is gorgeous there, and the water is so bluuuue!!! The best beaches I've ever been to were in San Diego. But I've never been anywhere tropical.

Grace said...

P.S. Your husband looks and sounds like a real sweetie. You should keep him I think. said...

Grace, I will keep him, I think!!

I just wanted to put a tube top, bandanna.. Anything on that lady!!

Tina@WhatWeKeep said...

You have listed all the reasons I will never travel there. Not fun!
I love the pics of you and first I was confused by the three legs in the pic where you are kissing and your hand is on his knee!
The beach was beautiful, though.

rachel said...

We honeymooned in Jamaica at an all inclusive. The only solicitation we had to deal with was the constant stream of "photographers" wanting to take your picture in super cheesy poses. We always said no and then laughed at the couples that had their photos made. My favorite was Jack Sprat and his wife all laid out in the surf. He was behind her and she totally blocked him. All you could see was his head sticking up from over her shoulder and his tiny hand on her hip.

Much safer than drug dealers to make fun of from afar.